ON “NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH”

This topic has been BIG on my heart lately as, more and more, I hear it as “the reason” someone can’t have what they say they desire.

The reality is that this is often a big wall we erect ourselves and then hide behind, because showing up and doing the work is hard and requires effort.

So. Here’s the thing!

See, on the surface, the “I’m not good enough for ______” or the I’m not ______enough” statement appears to come from a lack of confidence or a lack of self-love***.

It is, but it’s also worse than that.

The “I’m not _____enough” statement is actually an incredible excuse shrouded in victimhood + laziness. Real talk!

It’s a mindset and it’s a mindset they’re choosing.

If one truly believes they’re not ______ enough for something they say they deeply desire, they have two choices.

Option 1: Get _______ enough. Hard stop. Put in whatever work they need to to get ______ enough for the thing/person/opportunity/experience they say they desire most.

Option 2: Ask themselves if they actually desire it OR if it’s just a thing that would be nice to have if it fell into their lap with no additional work on their behalf.

If it’s on your bucket list to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, but you can’t climb a flight of stairs, then there’s a disconnect. It’s either on your bucket list and you’re willing to put in the work it takes to get you there or…you’re not and it’s not really.

We all get to choose - we get to choose whether we’re willing to put in the work for what we feel is our dream partner or dream home or dream job or dream experience.

If you want the promotion at work, because it will unlock doors x, y, and z for you and that’s what you want, then figure out what will get you the promotion and do that.

If you want to be at the top of the list for 30 under 30 in your industry, figure out what it takes to be that and put in the work.

You have the ability to access anything you desire, but mindset always wins. If you’re using phrases like “not good enough” or “not _________ enough” in your life, you’re selling yourself a story that will never take you where you want to go….or where you say you want to go, that is.

You can dream about your dream life or you can be willing to figure out what steps you need to take in what order and then LIVE it.

Go and do, darling.

With all my love,

Beth

*** Toxic, traumatic relationships can absolutely cause our internal self-dialogue to go haywire and make us question our ability to make things happen. If you have been the victim of a toxic, traumatic romantic relationship and/or were raised in close proximity to a narcissist, reprogramming the way your brain speaks to your heart is imperative. That said, it is still possible - for anyone starting in any place - to decide what they desire, figure out what steps they need to take to get it, and take action on those steps. Simply sitting back and choosing not to take action will never get us what we want or get us where we want to go - no matter our roots. <3